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Category: Heidi MontagMontag On The View
Crap. Here we go again. Friday afternoon “The View” announced that Heidi Montag will be joining their team. Great.
Just what we need – another reason not to watch The View.
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Montag & Pratt & Yogurt
How about a rare shot of Heidi Montag and her sister Stephanie Pratt out on a date…..
They went to Yogen Fruz in Beverly Hills because I guess fucking Jamba Juice isn’t good enough for them.
However, they make such a cute pair. I know a threesome with them would border on illegal, but it’s still something to think about!
I’d eat ice cream with these two any time!
Montag Has No Talent
It’s official. Heidi Montag has no talent. At all. Whatsoever.
Heidi Montag did the Miss Universe performance the other night, and let me tell you what, my fucking fifteen year old cat could have put on a better performance. Heidi Montag is beautiful, and stunningly so, but that’s where the talent ends. She can’t dance and can’t sing.
I swear to god it looked like she was link syncing to the entire thing!
And the sad part was, it was her own song – and she didn’t know half of the lyrics! Yikes! Now that’s bad!
Montag Bikini Again
As if Heidi Montag needed any more fucking attention right now….
Heidi Montag was part of the Miss Universe competition held a few nights ago; Rumor has it her performance was less than stunning. You don’t say. You mean to tell me she’s beautiful but has no talent. You don’t fucking say. About time someone else noticed.
Don’t get me wrong. Heidi Montag is fucking beautiful. And she’s got a killer body. I would hit her all night until we were sore and exhausted. But after that, I don’t think Heidi Montag has any personality.
But I’d still hit it.
Who wouldn’t want to hit Heidi Montag?
Next On Miss Universe
Donald Trump is the man. He’s not a billionaire; He’s a master marketer. Think about it. Just because he owns a billion dollar building, doesn’t mean he owns a billion dollars. He owns it on paper, and it’s not like he can turn that into cash over night. And the truth is he really doesn’t own that billion dollar building, but he’s borrowed the money to pay for it. Now he runs the Miss Universe contest.
And guess who’s going to perform this year? None other than Heidi Montag. Go figure.
I never knew that Heidi Montag has a bone in her body that could perform. She seems to be famous for, well, being famous. It’s a tough life for her, isn’t it?
This is Heidi Montag in training for the Miss Universe show. Not sure about her talents, but Heidi Montag sure looks good!
Heidi’s Tight Jeans
Heidi Montag and her recent Playboy shoot was a bust; It was more hype than substance, but we’ve become used to that with Heidi Montag who seems to be famous for being famous.
But sometimes it’s easier to be sexy with your clothes on instead of being half naked. This is Heidi Montag in a tight pair of jeans and what looks like a light t-shirt; It’s nice and tight and Heidi Montag is sporting some perky boobies. All men like perky boobies.
Heidi Montag looks so fine here that I might just want to eat her up!
But then after seeing the shot of her ass…. Well, now I’m sure of it. Yep, I’d hit that.
That Dress Again
First it was Heather Graham in the slutty black dress. Then it was Kristin Cavallari. Now guess which attention whore is sporting the very same back 1980s hooker dress.
Because you know Heidi Montag – if there’s an excuse to post yet another slutty picture of herself on line, well, she’s there.
I’d hit it.
Don’t tell anyone, but I saw Heidi Montag and her fag boy husband on the View yesterday. (My girlfriend watches it. Seriously.) I can’t figure out if these two are brilliant markers of if Spencer is just pimping her out. Which ever.
Lame Staged Photos
I swear to god Heidi Montag and her new fuck tard husband are the kings of all marketing.
It seems every week there is new bikini photos of Heidi Montag on some beach, trying to look like they were taken while she wasn’t paying attention. Yeah, news flash – I can see the shadow caused by the flash. Which means the camera was nice and up close while Heidi Montag was showering. Not to mention the lack of people.
Yeah, these two are the kings of marketing!
But still, I’m okay with that. Because I love to see hot chicks on the beach running in the water. In a bikini. Like Heidi Montag here.
Not sure why Playboy would want to feature her in a centerfold. We’ve pretty much seen all of Heidi Montag at this point!
Mexican Honeymoon
Yesterday I posted about Heidi Montag and her utterly stupid brand new husband wearing masks to prevent them from catching the swine flu. I wasn’t sure if it was a joke or not. However, it turns out they just returned from their honeymoon – In Mexico. I told you her new husband was dumb.
I can’t comment on how their honeymoon went, but judging from these pictures of Heidi Montag in her bikini on her hands and knees ready to be mounted like a dog, I’m guessing it went pretty well.
I mean, come on already – How bad could it be if you were knocking uglies with Heidi Montag???
Sometimes I think Heidi Montag has only one asset – whoreing herself out!
Montag Prevents Swine Flu
I was going to write about how Heidi Montag and how she is talking to Playboy about getting naked for them blah blah blah. Being as so few people read Playboy, I’m guessing no one would notice except for a handful of bloggers with too much free time. But this is so much more interesting.
Seems Heidi Montag and her new husband (gag) Spencer Pratt are afraid of getting the swine flu. I thought this was a dumb promo picture until….
I found this second picture…..
It’s really too bad that they can’t read, because if they could they would know that these masks don’t do jack shit to protect you.
While I’m on it, if Heidi Montag and her new hubby spend so much time on the beach…. How come they are so fucking white?
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