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Category: Heidi MontagHeidi’s Tight Jeans
Heidi Montag and her recent Playboy shoot was a bust; It was more hype than substance, but we’ve become used to that with Heidi Montag who seems to be famous for being famous.
But sometimes it’s easier to be sexy with your clothes on instead of being half naked. This is Heidi Montag in a tight pair of jeans and what looks like a light t-shirt; It’s nice and tight and Heidi Montag is sporting some perky boobies. All men like perky boobies.
Heidi Montag looks so fine here that I might just want to eat her up!
But then after seeing the shot of her ass…. Well, now I’m sure of it. Yep, I’d hit that.
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That Dress Again
First it was Heather Graham in the slutty black dress. Then it was Kristin Cavallari. Now guess which attention whore is sporting the very same back 1980s hooker dress.
Because you know Heidi Montag – if there’s an excuse to post yet another slutty picture of herself on line, well, she’s there.
I’d hit it.
Don’t tell anyone, but I saw Heidi Montag and her fag boy husband on the View yesterday. (My girlfriend watches it. Seriously.) I can’t figure out if these two are brilliant markers of if Spencer is just pimping her out. Which ever.
Lame Staged Photos
I swear to god Heidi Montag and her new fuck tard husband are the kings of all marketing.
It seems every week there is new bikini photos of Heidi Montag on some beach, trying to look like they were taken while she wasn’t paying attention. Yeah, news flash – I can see the shadow caused by the flash. Which means the camera was nice and up close while Heidi Montag was showering. Not to mention the lack of people.
Yeah, these two are the kings of marketing!
But still, I’m okay with that. Because I love to see hot chicks on the beach running in the water. In a bikini. Like Heidi Montag here.
Not sure why Playboy would want to feature her in a centerfold. We’ve pretty much seen all of Heidi Montag at this point!
Mexican Honeymoon
Yesterday I posted about Heidi Montag and her utterly stupid brand new husband wearing masks to prevent them from catching the swine flu. I wasn’t sure if it was a joke or not. However, it turns out they just returned from their honeymoon – In Mexico. I told you her new husband was dumb.
I can’t comment on how their honeymoon went, but judging from these pictures of Heidi Montag in her bikini on her hands and knees ready to be mounted like a dog, I’m guessing it went pretty well.
I mean, come on already – How bad could it be if you were knocking uglies with Heidi Montag???
Sometimes I think Heidi Montag has only one asset – whoreing herself out!
Montag Prevents Swine Flu
I was going to write about how Heidi Montag and how she is talking to Playboy about getting naked for them blah blah blah. Being as so few people read Playboy, I’m guessing no one would notice except for a handful of bloggers with too much free time. But this is so much more interesting.
Seems Heidi Montag and her new husband (gag) Spencer Pratt are afraid of getting the swine flu. I thought this was a dumb promo picture until….
I found this second picture…..
It’s really too bad that they can’t read, because if they could they would know that these masks don’t do jack shit to protect you.
While I’m on it, if Heidi Montag and her new hubby spend so much time on the beach…. How come they are so fucking white?
Seeing Through Heidi
Is it no wonder that Heidi Montag got married? If she spends her free time wearing see through shirts like that, I’d marry her too. Anyone would.
I think more women should dress like this!
Montag Married Again
Well isn’t this just swell? Looks like Heidi Montag got married. Again.
And of course you know exactly where this footage will end up, right?
I’m sure as we were getting up this morning someone was already editing the footage for The Hills. Whatever.
She’s hot, but otherwise “yawn”.
Sexy Camaro
Ever had a girlfriend that was smoking hot but dumb as a bag of bricks? This is exactly how I feel about Heidi Montag.
However, she’s really hot, a TV star (whatever), and has enough money to buy her lesser half a nice Camaro…..
Now, I’m not a huge fan of Camaros but I wouldn’t complain if my girlfriend bought me a fully restored Camaro. Also, did I mention she’s hot?
I’m not sure what Heidi Montag sees in Spencer, but all well. Life is never fair. Perhaps he’s hung like a bottle of soda or something.
Heidi Montag Nailed
Get your mind out of the gutter! When I said “nailed” I meant she got her nails done. Not nailed against a desk or something. Perverts.
Looks like Heidi Montag is all ready for Valentine’s day, which is coming up quickly here! She went out and got her nails done with cute little hearts on them. How sweet is that?
Her boyfriend is one lucky prick. I mean that too. Because when I say prick I mean “lucky fucking bastard”. No sense being nice about it.
What a tight little body Heidi Montag has!!! I do love me a good woman in tight jeans!
Heidi Montag Has Balls
This cracks me up. You always read about how these Hotshot Superstars talk about how hard they work out, blah blah blah. Whatever.
Here’s Heidi Montag working out. I can just hear Heidi Montag telling the story now…. “It was freezing cold on the beach, raining, and I was lifting up this heavy ball over and over again”……
Yeah, but what you failed to mention was your trainer holding an umbrella for you!
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