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Category: Heidi MontagMontag On Valentine’s Day
So why did Heidi Montag get all dressed up in a slutty tight pink dress and board a plane to Vegas? For unlimited self promotion, of course!
Heidi Montag decided to go to Vegas so she can spend the day in a Penthouse suite posing for Valentine’s Day pictures. No real reason….
Just limitless self promotion, that’s all. You have to admit, she is the fucking queen of self promotion!
But is it me, does Heidi Montag look a bit like a whore here?
She almost looks like a porn star about ready to start her porn shoot…..
I guess after all of the plastic surgery Heidi Montag has had, that’s the next step isn’t it?
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Heidi’s Plane Ride
This is going to be the first of two posts today about Heidi Montag, so don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Heidi Montag got the chance to take a quick plane ride from California to Vegas. I guess it must have been her first time on a small private plane because she got all dressed up for the event in a super tight pink dress with her breasts hanging out…. Or should I say her “new breasts”. LOL. Whatever.
I work in the porn industry so private planes are no big deal to me. I’ve been on a few private flights before, and this plane looks to be on the smaller size. I guess they didn’t care enough to send the very best.
Now, with me working in porn and all, the only time I see a big breasted chick in a hooker dress getting on a private plane is when she plans on having sex. Setting aside the fact that (fake plastic barbie) Heidi Montag looks pretty hot here, I’m guessing Heidi Montag had intentions of joining the mile high club.
The question is why was Heidi Montag going to Vegas? I’ll answer that shortly….
Bigger And Better
I’ve tried so hard to ignore Heidi Montag, and I was so proud of myself for not mentioning the fact that she got bigger boobs and what not. (Bigger is better, right?) But when Heidi Montag is doing yoga and is on her hands and knees with her titties hanging down, well, it’s pretty hard for me to pass up taking a few pot shots.
Just in case you’ve been living under a rock, Heidi Montag recently had her breasts enlarged and a whole bunch of other cosmetic things done. And it seems she likes her new knockers so much, she wants to go bigger. Rumors are flying around that she’s addicted to plastic surgery. I’m not complaining. Bigger is better!
And the bigger tits Heidi Montag gets, the closer she’ll be to becoming a porn star!
Hooker Part Two
Seems Heidi Montag enjoyed all of the attention she got last week when she went out in super short shorts and the killer hooker boots. I called her a street walker then.
Well, it looks like Heidi Montag decided to try it again – only more like a hooker with a tight, short leather skirt. This is exactly what I expected my hookers to look like when I was younger in the 1980s. Yummy.
Of course the cross dangling on her chest, right up against her breasts, sends just the right message!
I wish we could more of Heidi Montag like this!
Heidi Montag The Hooker
Well, it’s a official. Heidi Montag is nothing more than a hooker. A good looking hooker, but a hooker none the less.
Heidi Montag got caught out in public this past weekend in a tight little tank top, super short shorts, and black thigh high stiletto boots. I’m sorry, and while I think it’s totally hot, boots like this is something that should only be worn in the bedroom.
Still hot though.
But at the end of the day it seems that Heidi Montag is nothing than a good looking chick who is a hooker at heart. I wonder who she had to fuck to climb up on her perch there…. Man, I tell you, Heidi Montag is the queen of marketing herself!
Montag On The View
Crap. Here we go again. Friday afternoon “The View” announced that Heidi Montag will be joining their team. Great.
Just what we need – another reason not to watch The View.
Montag & Pratt & Yogurt
How about a rare shot of Heidi Montag and her sister Stephanie Pratt out on a date…..
They went to Yogen Fruz in Beverly Hills because I guess fucking Jamba Juice isn’t good enough for them.
However, they make such a cute pair. I know a threesome with them would border on illegal, but it’s still something to think about!
I’d eat ice cream with these two any time!
Montag Has No Talent
It’s official. Heidi Montag has no talent. At all. Whatsoever.
Heidi Montag did the Miss Universe performance the other night, and let me tell you what, my fucking fifteen year old cat could have put on a better performance. Heidi Montag is beautiful, and stunningly so, but that’s where the talent ends. She can’t dance and can’t sing.
I swear to god it looked like she was link syncing to the entire thing!
And the sad part was, it was her own song – and she didn’t know half of the lyrics! Yikes! Now that’s bad!
Montag Bikini Again
As if Heidi Montag needed any more fucking attention right now….
Heidi Montag was part of the Miss Universe competition held a few nights ago; Rumor has it her performance was less than stunning. You don’t say. You mean to tell me she’s beautiful but has no talent. You don’t fucking say. About time someone else noticed.
Don’t get me wrong. Heidi Montag is fucking beautiful. And she’s got a killer body. I would hit her all night until we were sore and exhausted. But after that, I don’t think Heidi Montag has any personality.
But I’d still hit it.
Who wouldn’t want to hit Heidi Montag?
Next On Miss Universe
Donald Trump is the man. He’s not a billionaire; He’s a master marketer. Think about it. Just because he owns a billion dollar building, doesn’t mean he owns a billion dollars. He owns it on paper, and it’s not like he can turn that into cash over night. And the truth is he really doesn’t own that billion dollar building, but he’s borrowed the money to pay for it. Now he runs the Miss Universe contest.
And guess who’s going to perform this year? None other than Heidi Montag. Go figure.
I never knew that Heidi Montag has a bone in her body that could perform. She seems to be famous for, well, being famous. It’s a tough life for her, isn’t it?
This is Heidi Montag in training for the Miss Universe show. Not sure about her talents, but Heidi Montag sure looks good!
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