Britney Spears Past MILF

28 Aug 09

In a week I’m going to turn forty-two and it’s time for me to face reality – I’m no longer nearly as hip as I wish I was. Oh sure, I have a fancy little super charged sports car that destroys my friend’s Ferrari and I don’t have any gray hair below my waist, but it’s just hard to keep up with my young girlfriends. Britney Spears has yet to discover the same thing.

This is Britney Spears on tour; I’m not sure if there is a practice or the real deal. Either way, it’s kind of sad. What I see here is a middle aged woman who has spit out two kids, is kind of thick in the middle, and is blind as a bat and has to wear those ugly glasses. I don’t see a celebrity or a pop star. The chick who lives across the street from me is about ten times hotter.

I know she needs to make money, blah blah blah, but at this point it’s past comical and becoming sad. Hey, I was a huge fan of the Rolling Stones, but that was thirty years ago. I don’t want to go to a concert and watch a grandfather strutting around in tight pants. Ick. It’s time for Britney Spears to move over, and let the new generation take over.

Maybe she should get a job. The Wendy’s up the street from me is hiring. “Would you like fries with that?”